‘A crack in the render is cosmetic. A crack in the structure brings the whole thing down. What are you avoiding and rendering over?’
After 36 years in the building industry, you learn to tell the difference between a surface flaw and a structural one, usually with a single glance. A crack in the render is cosmetic. The render is just the smooth coat over the top, the bit that makes everything look finished and neat. You skim over cracks and imperfections, repaint, and no one’s any the wiser. Yet a crack in the structure, in a footing, in a load-bearing wall, is a different animal altogether. That one’s not about how it looks. That one’s about whether the whole thing stays standing.
People are exactly the same. And most of us have gotten very good at rendering over the cracks.
Rendering Over the Cracks
Think about how we do it. We stay busy, flat out, so there’s never a quiet moment to feel what’s underneath. We stay pleasant, agreeable, keeping everyone happy so nobody looks too closely. We keep up appearances. As I wrote in my book, so much of it is just avoiding looking bad and trying to look good, only for that to quietly eat us up inside. We all have mastered a hundred ways to render over or keep up appearances when you are falling apart. In my book I list a few of them from observing and speaking to people. And some I have experienced in my life.
Smoking, drinking, food, sport, “Netflix and chill,” anything that lets us avoid the conflict and sitting in what I call ‘The Tip’ of the mind, that cluttered dumping ground of everything we haven’t dealt with. None of it is bad in itself. It only becomes a problem when its real job is to keep us from ever looking at the cracks and avoiding what is happening internally and externally.
“No matter where you run, you will always find yourself waiting for you at the end.” — Unknown
The Courage to Look
I won’t pretend that’s easy. In my book I describe becoming the observer of your own thoughts, and I’m honest that it takes real courage and strength, because the truth does hurt at times. And when it does, that hurt is an opportunity for a new path to open towards what I call ‘The Garden,’ that place of light and growth on the other side of the clutter. Looking at a structural crack is confronting. It’s also the only thing that ever actually fixes it. You don’t heal what you keep covering over what happening beneath it all.
So, Honestly…
This week have a look at where you’re the busiest, most agreeable and determined to keep things looking fine. That’s usually exactly where the render is thickest. Its time to stop and have a breather and checking where things are shaky in your life. Great news is: Your life will heal the moment you ask for help!
R U OK? Day
Thursday, 10 September 2026 is R U OK?Day but we know that the people around us go through life’s ups and downs every day which is why we have free resources to help you keep the conversation going year round. Its not just on the day, this is something to be mindful each day.
Have a great week,
Michael
Where the F*ck Do Our Minds Go? is out now → https://getbook.at/WhereDoOurMindsGo More at michaelmalacos.com
https://www.instagram.com/p/DcfBuSuk14S/ https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1F2DMF22Xm/https://lnkd.in/p/ehcNi3hT